Hank Moody (Californication), is a great example of a character that lives in the moment and is deeply connected to his masculine core. Great show by the way.
You’re at the bar with your buddies and there are cute girls all around you. You spot one you like, you want to go up and talk to her, but quickly the fear of rejection penetrates your mind like a dagger. Next thing you know, your mind has spit up a series of justifications for why you shouldn’t talk to her.
Perhaps it’s because she’s out of your league, or that she probably has a boyfriend, it’s too loud in the bar, or that approaching girls isn’t who you are….. Your mind cycles between all these various false rationalizations and picks one to let you off the hook.
Why is it doing this? Are these valid excuses? Definitely not. Your mind is protecting your fragile little ego that likes to keep its identity intact. An identity that would be destroyed if rejected. The first step to creating the life you want is to take responsibility for everything in your life.
If you give yourself an excuse, you will quickly become a man of excuses. There will always be a reason and someone or something to blame for why you didn’t take action. I say enough with that! Enough lying to ourselves.
When those excuses and thoughts enter your mind, you must observe them and you must treat them like the voice and antics of a little child, without any judgement. When you observe your thoughts, you no longer become identified with them, and because of this your ego is no longer able to grip onto these thoughts and use them for it’s own survival.
You begin to let go of your ego, and as it slips away you enter a state of pure inner freedom and you become in touch with your inner masculine core. You have transmuted your negative emotions and fear of approach into presence power and positive energy. This is when approaching a cute girl at a bar or anywhere for that matter, finally becomes as natural and as enjoyable as it should be.
“You were trapped but now you are free”
As you make eye contact with the girl, you feel connected with your natural inner desires, accepting the only thing that matters, the present moment. If she walks away or tells you she’s uninterested, it hardly makes any difference to your sense of self.
In fact, she could completely shut you down and guess what? It wouldn’t matter, in fact you’d probably find it amusing more than anything. This is because you’re not seeking validation or an ego boost by getting a pretty girl to show interest in you.
You already feel complete and full within and because of this you’re free of any outcome. Therefore you can fully enjoy being yourself and you can share that energy with those around you, including the pretty girl you chat up.
As you talk to her she will sense this real, raw energy about you. From the way you listen to her and the way you talk and express yourself she will sense that you’re not trying to take anything from her.
You’re not seeing her as a object to give you a more complete and full sense of self. You’re simply enjoying the moment and being self amused, finding the fun and hilarious in everything. This makes the girl feel comfortable around you and at ease.
This Is What Happens When You See A Girl Though The Lens Of Your Ego
Your ego sees the stunning girl as superior to you and objectifies her and put’s her up on a pedestal. The ego thinks, “man, if I can get this girl to like me, then I’ll be enough, then I’ll feel good.” The ego tells you that you need to impress her and that you need to make yourself seem cooler than you are, because how could she ever like the real you?
And when it’s time to really talk to her, the ego thinks you must say something really cool otherwise this girl will lose interest. Because of this, you’re probably at a loss of words, unable spit anything up. If you do manage to string words together it invariably comes across really try hard and forced.
You must see the girl while being present and in touch with your inner being and your masculine core. This way when you see the girl there’s no fear and no excuses, taking action is who you are at your very essence.
Furthermore, you don’t see the girl as superior or inferior to you. You communicate to her as a man to a woman and there’s no need to try to attract her. Attraction is assumed. This makes it very easy to keep the conversation flowing because you’re no longer filtering what to talk about.
When you don’t try to impress and when you don’t try to put on a shtick, you’re communicating to the girl that you’re congruent, that you’re being who you are. This is immensely attractive and immediately you will have separated yourself from every other guy and subsequently girls will think there’s so much more to you than what’s on the surface.
They will be intrigued, drawn in and hooked. If you’ve ever watched Californication, this is exactly the way Hank Moody carries himself.
What’s The Best Way To Put It Into To Action?
The ability to stay present in life and to communicate from your masculine core takes practice and training. It requires you to be extremely self aware of the thoughts in your head and the stories you tell yourself. You must start to separate the truth from the lies.
If you see that girl you really like, you must understand that your mind will tell you not to approach, you must accept this and you must push past this. The more you do this the stronger your ability to disconnect from the mind, become present and take action will become. Soon you will lose touch with your ego and you will learn to act from a place of masculine intent.
To be able to quickly access the ‘power of now’, I recommend immersing yourself in the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, applying his lessons to your everyday life as much as possible. This will train you to be able to spend more time in the present moment and to become less identified with your ego.
The deeper you become present in your day to day life, the quality of everything and everyone around you changes. This is really the most effective form of meditation. To look at the entire day as an opportunity to connect with being and to become present.
The best way to start is by listening to practicing the power of now for 20-30 minutes each day. Give your fullest and undivided attention to Tolle. I often listen to the audio while going for walks. This has had a profound effect on my ability to stay present, live in the moment and to take effortless action.