The Six Pack Paradox
The Six Pack Paradox
I just got off a video call with one of my coaching clients. She was a wreck, emotionally. I could see the heartbreak behind her eyes and in her voice and instantly I knew the next hour would be an interesting one.
After consoling her and putting her at ease, it quickly turned out that she had been constantly failing to stick to the nutrition plan and many nights she would keep eating, despite being full. Not only had she not lost weight, but she had actually gained a few pounds on the scale.
Worst of all, she felt like a complete and absolute failure. In that moment, I felt a ton of compassion towards her as I could completely relate to her situation. I’ve been there and it’s no way to live your life.
I realized that we needed to address this from a psychological standpoint and that she would never get to her goal until she completely rewires her mental model. Now when someone struggles to stick to a nutrition plan, invariably there are points of resistance. These points of resistance are what make up the six pack paradox.
Until you stop resisting, you will unconsciously sabotage any and all efforts at making forward progress. Now funny enough, these points of resistance are completely paradoxical in nature as you will soon see.
You Need To Accept Yourself As You Are
“Completely accept what is, because you cannot give your full attention to something and at the same time resist it.” – Eckhart Tolle
Look, here’s the deal, we all have insecurities and things that we want to change. But you must learn to accept these characteristics. If you haven’t accepted these traits, if you haven’t accepted how you look right now, there will be constant stress, anxiety and urgency behind everything you do.
In the game of dieting, stress, anxiety and urgency are your greatest foes. This is what turns dieting into a grind, this is what makes life a burden and this is what leads you into engulfing an entire bag of cookies on a lonesome night, only to feel unbearable guilt.
The clients that have the easiest road to leanness are okay with who they are. They’re not stressing out about their body fat percentage and they’re not making a huge deal about how they look. They simply focus on sticking to the plan and enjoying the ride.
When you have accepted yourself, completely and totally, your life will transform. Now you can begin productively working towards your goals without your mind messing with you. So take some time to accept and love the person you are right now. Understand that on the deepest level, nothing you could ever do, have or become will make you a more complete person.
If you catch yourself scrutinizing the person you see in the mirror, calmly and without judgement remind yourself to ‘stop resisting’. Remind yourself that you’re already awesome right now and that you’re working towards your goals to become even more awesome!
When you feel awesome you will experience positive energy to work towards your goals. When you feel down on yourself and irritated and ashamed, you will experience negative energy that will only ever work against you, pushing you into the wrong direction.
Realize Six Pack Abs Will Not Make You Happy And Complete
Most people tie their happiness and fulfilment to some form or another. They believe that sometime in the future when they have this body, this car, this girlfriend or this job then they will be enough, okay and alright. And until that point comes, they are not enough and not complete. This is a dreadful way to live your life and this makes living hard.
When you tie your self worth to some form, like six pack abs for example, you will be hard pressed to reach your goal. Moreover, you will never ever experience true happiness and fulfilment.
This mentality of romanticizing the future kills the present moment. It turns your fitness journey into a chronic obsession to get six pack abs. This is when everything takes a turn for the worse. You’re constantly thinking about your diet, the days go by slower than ever and you miss out on enjoying the true beauty of life.
You become consumed and taken over by your mind and instead of being able to enjoy the present moment that you’re in, all you can think about is your goal and your diet. Nearly all the pain and commitment that dieting takes is mind created.
Your mind is constantly resisting the present moment. Trying to escape every second of real life because it believes that your fulfilment is tied to the future with some arbitrary look. Stop resisting, stop escaping the present moment. The more you do so, the more stress, struggle and anxiety you will create.
Once you honour the present moment, nearly all of the hard work and commitment that dieting takes dissolves. Now it’s just a matter of following a simple plan and enjoying each and every day as you get closer to your goal.
You Need To Understand That Perfection Is Not Necessary
Stop trying to be perfect, to hell with perfection! It’s not realistic and it’s not dynamic. If you try to be perfect you will be polarizing yourself from everyone around you and you will be setting yourself up for cold, hard, failure.
Stick to your nutrition plan to the best of your capabilities but understand if you slip up once in a while it’s not a big deal. Give yourself permission to not be perfect. By having a relaxed attitude you will make dieting much more enjoyable and when you do slip up, you won’t feel to guilty about it. This means that you won’t turn a trivial few hundred calories into an all out food binge.
Moreover, sometimes we need to live our lives. We have to go into situations where we can’t stick to our diets or our macros to the tee. Maybe we get invited to dinner or we want to go get icecream with this cute girl. If you’re able to exercise moderation and you’re able to be accountable over what you eat, in any situation, then being in great shape year round will be effortless.
Some people can only be in control when they’re at home, tracking and recording everything they eat. Then when they’re out of their comfort zone and not sticking to their usual diet they lose all ability to exercise self control.
Being really, really, ridiculously good at not being perfect goes a long way. This allows you to make slow and steady progress no matter what situation you find yourself in. Then when you want to tighten things up for a few weeks, you can. Afterwards, you can go back to more of a relaxed and slow, but steady approach. This is a really enjoyable way for long-term, sustainable fat loss.
People that accept nothing but perfection invariably take the two steps forward, one step back approach. Or worse, one step forward and one step back. At the end of the day, the either never get to their goal or they get there but in a miserable and obsessive fashion and lack the ability to maintain their results.
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Greg! I’m 5’10, 160 lbs probably 12% BF. I want to get to 170 8% BF, lean and ripped. I currently have a visible 4 pack but I want to reveal my lower abs. I love the Greek God Program, now I want to get shredded. Can this program deliver me muscle building and fat burning results?
Regards,
Zach
Well you won’t see a big increase in muscle gain but it will work very well for you to lean down to a low body fat.
What up from SA! I have been listening to you for a while now and I like the fact that you are so passionate about fitness and people, not just getting the job done physically but emotionally also! Keep it up , it’s rather inspiring mate! Sunny Cape Town :)
Once again, great article of the mental aspect of the fitness world. Great words on true positive mentality and the effectiveness of staying in the present and not worrying about something that may or may not happen and even if it does or does not, will it then still make you happy? To this day stress is still considered one of the biggest cancers and contributors to a shorter life expectancy. Thanks again Greg.
Greg, this article/video is fantastic! Great job! Life is soooo much easier AND more productive with the hakuna matata approach to fitness. You have a goal and destination, yes, but it’s ALL about the journey and the experience along the way.
Something that makes your blog and nogym.net unique mainly is your focus on the mental/enjoyment aspect. We all know it’s about eating less and exercising more (two laws that won’t change ha ha), but very few address establishing the right mindset (or the no mindset for the Buddhists here). That’s where you guys excel!
I’ve been lean and had easy abs since I can remember, and yet that was never enough for a while. I become totally focused on the end result of getting “bigger” that I was missing out on the journey and robbing myself of the joy in the present. I began to realize, like you, that you have to slow down to go faster.
Your warrior shredding missing chapters was awesome because it gave definition to the mindset I had established over time.
Thanks again, and keep up the great work! =)
Thanks so much for sharing this Aaron :)
Awesome post buddy..
really we don’t need to grind everything up..our last rep,our last cookie ,our last workout bunk…or anything…its really fine to take up some rest days in moderation and not to overthrow ourselves on those days…a man who is perfect can only be on cinema. American Psycho Mr Christian Bale..
hey Greg..
i just started your lean bulk approach the last week had a few questions
1-for a given current weight there is a given metabolic rate rate calories and we have to eat 500above it..as per ur article…but the weight keeps on changing for about 1-3kgs..once u come back from a diet…so should we change our calories and increase them everyy week or its just what u decide at first week and continue for 3 weeks…??
2-currently i am doing the three day split with Monday chest and tricep,Wednesday back and his and Friday traps and shoulders…
should i change this to two day split with Monday for incline bp,standing ohp,weighted dips,and some pump,work and Wednesday for hang cleans,weighted chins,bicep work and some pump work… ….should i do,this 2 day split while i am bulking up for three weeks and then 3 day split for 1lower cal week…and then continuing the cycle like this…
???
just started it brother…
ur help would be inevitible…please..
No that’s just an estiamte. There’s no way to know exactly how many calories you will be burning at a given weight. Trial and error. Stick to the calories for long enough so you can see beyond the initial fluctuations.
You can do the 2 day split to make faster strength progress then go to a 2 day split.
Hi Greg,
This really does resonate with me, although improving ones’ body is a very positive thing, it harbours much frustration because it is such a slow process.
Is this correct, to observe is to simply look into ourselves at this ‘thing’ which is concerning us but to have no analyse of the thing, no internal dialogue. You just make yourself aware that your mind has negatively latched itself onto a concern, but you don’t engage in the thought process.
I think it may be better to not even give general worries that arise any respect by observing them. But instead, simply thrust yourself into the present moment by doing whatever you have to do that day. Ask yourself ‘what should i be doing right now?’ Why waste any time at all observing something negative. Just by pass it by doing something else. I guess whatever works for each individual is best.
Hey Julien. That’s exactly the right idea. You step back and just observe what’s going on, then you have distached yourself from your mind, and you’re no longer controlled by it.
By observe it you are becoming present. That awareness is presence. This is how you become present. Ignoring thoughts or emotions doesn’t make them disappear. They will still harbor negativity. You must observe and accept them and then you’re free of them.
As always awesome post Greg! By the way, what do you think about Robert Downey Jr Avengers physique?
Thanks Tim. I think he could use more shoulders and back to give you physique more of a V shape. His physique doesn’t seem to stand out in a shirt, he looks too normal in my books.
Such a good post! It’s finally time to accept yourself and realize that that one thing won’t make you happy, unless you’re already happy.
Enjoy the process, it’s way more enjoyable than the result anyways :)
Hi Greg,
Will drinking Monster 0 calories 0 sugar make you fat? Also, T25 workout, what are your thoughts on it?
Thank you very much,
Andy
Nope, it has no calories so it can’t make you fat.
Very interesting Gregory, I’m going to give your approach a try.
Kelly
Let me know how it goes my sweet aunt :)